AKATSUKI APARTMENT part 11

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~time goes on~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Hidan groaned and buried his face against Kakuzu’s chest. “’Kuzu,” he groaned. The banker reached over his partner and shut off the clock, before returning his arm to its previous position around Hidan’s waist. “We need to get up.”

“Hell no.”

The banker sighed. Why did Hidan have to be so difficult? “Hidan, we have to get up now. I set the alarm late to let you sleep longer. Now get moving.”

The Jashinist growled and wrapped his arms around his partner. “I don’t wanna, dammit.”

Kakuzu sat up, dragging his boyfriend with him. “Now I know how Itachi feels about Kisame. Hidan, get up or else.”

“Or else what, dumbass?”

“Hidan, do you know what floor we’re on?”

“The third floor, dumbass. Why?

Ten seconds later Hidan was dangling outside the window by his foot, which Kakuzu was holding in one hand. “You awake yet?” Kakuzu asked in a bored tone.

“Yes!!” Hidan’s eyes were wide with fear.

“Hmm? I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you. You better speak up; my grip appears to be slipping-“

“YES, NOW PUT ME DOWN, DAMMIT!”

Kakuzu smirked. “Good.” He pulled the smaller man back inside. “Now get going.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What’s for lunch, danna?” Deidara asked, peering over Sasori’s shoulder.

“If you would give me a chance to dig it out, you’d see,” Sasori answered, rolling his eyes. He finally found the bento and handed it to his partner, who gave the red head a quick kiss before darting up the tree with his food. Sasori merely rolled his eyes and dug out the Kakuzu puppet. It was coming along nicely; he only needed to finish the eyes and scars now. “I still say it’s creepy how you work on that puppet crap all the time,” Hidan stated from his perch. Sasori barely spared him a glance before going back to his work. Deidara looked up from his lunch and looked down at the group’s banker. “Kakuzu, what time is it?”

“12:44. Why?”

“Seconds too, un.”

“51. I repeat, why?”

Deidara grinned. “5, 4, 3, 2, 1…”

BOOOOOOOOOOOM

The group rolled their eyes as screams of panic were heard inside the building. “What did you blow up this time?” Itachi asked, trying to concentrate on his lunch.

“The gym, un. I just wanted to freak out the jocks before break, un.”

Kisame jerked his head up. “Oh yeah, next week is spring break, isn’t it?”

Hidan smirked and shook his head. “You are so damn lucky you live with the weasel.” Itachi’s eyes flashed red and he kicked Hidan in the side. The Jashinist flung his arms out, trying to regain his balance. He failed and toppled out of the tree.

“OOMPH!” he landed on his back. The zealot glared up at his friend. “Damn you to hell.”

“You had it coming,” Itachi stated, shrugging his shoulders and returning to his food.

“So what do you guys do over break?” Kakuzu asked, successfully changing the subject.

“Mostly we act like bums and hang around Pein’s place. Sir Leader can usually tolerate our presence for that long,” Sasori explained.

“Hey, you assholes wanna do another road trip?” Hidan asked as he sat up, wincing and rubbing his back.

“You guys can, but Deidara and I already have plans.” Sasori turned the puppet over in his hands and smiled. “It’s finished.” Deidara and Itachi climbed down from the tree and joined the rest of the Akatsuki, who were crowding around Sasori. “Danna, take them all out, un.” The red head did as instructed, dumping out his bag.

The puppets looked extremely lifelike, albeit rather cute. Kisame picked up the frowning Itachi puppet and grinned. “I hate to say it, Sasori, but you definitely messed this one up. There’s no way Itachi would ever look this happy.” Itachi shot his partner a look. “No sex for a week.” And with that he climbed back up the tree.

“Aww, come on, Itachi!” Kisame pleaded. He’d just gotten his sex privileges reinstated.

“Beg all you want, but that puppet is the closest you’re getting to me for the next seven days.”

“Don’t you even think about it,” Sasori ordered, snatching the puppet away from the whimpering shark. “And Hidan, stop that!” The Jashinist had grabbed the Deidara and Sasori puppets. He had the Deidara one laying face-down on the ground with the Sasori puppet humping it. “What’s wrong, dumbass?”

“We don’t do that.”

Hidan grinned widely. “Oh, so it’s like this…” He quickly switched the puppets around so the mini Deidara was on top of the Sasori doll.

“Absolutely not!” Sasori snatched both puppets and shoved them inside his bag, face slightly red. Deidara chuckled and hugged Sasori. “Aww, danna doesn’t want to be my uke, un.”

“Shut. Up. Brat.” Sasori tried to be angry at his boyfriend but failed miserably, eventually resigning himself to his usual frown and hugging the blonde. Deidara smiled and scurried back up the might oak tree, joining Itachi. “Hidan, are you coming back up, un?”

“Hell no.” The Jashinist looked around, his eyes finally settling on Kakuzu. In a flash his arm jerked out and snatched a sandwich from his partner’s hands. “HEY!”

“I’m hungry,” Hidan stated, munching on the food. “Damn, you used too much mayo.”

“That’s not a good reason to take my lunch! And I happen to like mayo.”

“Whatever.” Hidan swallowed the last bite of the food, receiving a glare from his partner. “You could at least say thanks, ingrate.”

“Thank you.” The entire group froze, and Deidara fell out of the tree, landing in the safety of Sasori’s arms. “What?” the banker and zealot asked.

“H-hidan…” Kisame stuttered.

“He just said thank you! Without swearing or twitching or clenching his teeth, un!” Deidara declared, eyes wide.

“The apocalypse is at hand,” Itachi called out sarcastically from the tree.

“Shut the hell up, weasel.”

“Hey, we need to head inside,” Kakuzu stated, glancing down at his watch. The group packed up and left, minus Deidara who had to climb back up the tree to get the lunch box and Sasori who had to wait for Deidara. “Here danna!” the sculptor smiled as he handed the red head the container. Sasori took it, raised a brow, and opened the lid. “Deidara, you barely ate anything.”

The blonde grinned sheepishly. “Sorry, I’m just not hungry, un.”

Sasori stuffed the bento back into his bag and looked at Deidara. “Nervous?”

“Kinda, un.” Concern filled Sasori’s face as he slipped his arms around Deidara’s waist, pulling the blonde close to himself. “Deidara, if you don’t want to do this, we won’t.”

Deidara gave Sasori the sweetest smile the puppet master had ever seen. “Danna, I want to. But I’ve got a right to be nervous, don’t I, un?”

“I guess.” Sasori pressed his lips to Deidara and pulled away. “Time to go.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“See ya!” Hidan waved to the Pein and Konan as they headed out of the apartment. Sasori and Deidara had left immediately after school let out, and Kisame and Itachi had only been able to stay about an hour before they left for home (Kisame had finally been forgiven, so it didn’t take much to imagine why they had left early). After that, it didn’t take long for Pein to get annoyed and throw the remaining to teenagers out. “So, what are we gonna do, asshole?”

“I have to balance my checkbook. You can do whatever you want, as long as it’s quiet.”

“Tch, you’re no fun.” Kakuzu shrugged it off. “Hey, do you have any idea where Sasori and Deidara were heading?”

“No Jashin damned clue.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“French fries and a chocolate milk shake.” Sasori stared at his boyfriend incredulously.

“Uh-huh. It’s delicious, and you said I could have whatever I want, un.” Deidara happily dipped a fry in the chocolate and popped it into his mouth.

“Yes, but I was hoping you’d have something more along the lines of protein.” Sasori dipped a fry into the milkshake and ate it. “Not too bad.”

“Told you danna,” Deidara smirked, eating more fries.

“Still nervous?”

Deidara nodded. “I’m gonna be nervous until this is all over, un.”

Sasori brushed his fingertips against Deidara’s cheek. “I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to. If this bothers you that much, we can go home now.”

The sculptor shook his head. “I want this more than anything else.” Deidara began pouting. “But I just wish my stomach would stop doing back flips every time I think about it, un!”

Sasori smirked and grabbed another fry. “You’ll be fine; just relax.” He brought the fry to Deidara’s lips, feeding the blonde artist. Deidara gently wrapped his lips around the fingers, cleaning off all the salt clinging to them.

“Sir, are you two doing all right?”

“Yes,” Sasori answered, all his attention focused on Deidara.

“Um, sir…”

The red head sighed. Why couldn’t this waitress just leave? “What is it?”

“Well, um…is it absolutely necessary for your girlfriend to eat on your lap?”

“This is my BOYfriend. And yes it is.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few days had passed, and nothing had been heard from either Deidara or Sasori. “Jashin dammit, this is annoying!” Hidan grumbled.

“Shut up,” Kakuzu ordered. Kisame and Itachi were sitting on the couch, flipping through TV channels.  Being a weekday, there was, of course, absolutely nothing to watch. Pein and Konan walked into the room. “I feel like I should yell at your guys to go out and get jobs,” Konan said, shaking her head.

“Hell will freeze over first.” None of the others argued with that. “You’d think Deidara and Sasori would have at least sent a crappy postcard, dammit!”

“What can you expect with those two?” Pein shook his head. “Ever since that night (everyone shivered at the memory) those guys only care about each other. For all we know, they could have fallen off the face of the earth.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“This is it, un.”

“Yeah.”

Sasori looked Deidara up and down, as if seeing him for the first time. “You know what?”

“What?”

“You’ve managed to get me jittery.” Deidara chuckled and kissed his danna on the cheek. “This is the last time we’ll see each other before it happens, un.”

“That wouldn’t be the case if you weren’t so hell-bent on wearing that outfit. I don’t get what the big deal is.”

“I told you, Sasori danna, it’s bad luck, un. And I want to wear it, so that’s that, un.” A woman with long black hair walked in. “Come on Dei, you need to get dressed! And you have to be out of the room!” she yelled, pushing Sasori towards the door. “See ya danna!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sasori couldn’t tear his eyes away from Deidara. He quickly leaned in to the blonde’s ear. “You look gorgeous.”

“You too, un.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“A week!”

“It’s only been five days, Hidan.”

“That’s practically a week, dammit! Grr, are they ever gonna get their asses back here?”

“Hidan they still have another week before school starts up again,” Itachi reminded the Jashinist. Hidan grumbled but said nothing as they approached the apartment.

When they got inside they immediately noticed two things. One; Konan looked liked she was about to faint. Two; Pein wasn’t in much better shape. “I can’t believe it,” the leader muttered, staring at a letter in his hands.

“I can, but still…” Konan shook her head. “I’m gonna kill that blonde for not letting me help. Although he does look rather cute.”

“I’m going to pretend I never heard that.” The four teens walked in. “What the hell is it? Did Sasori and Deidara finally write?!”

“Oh, they wrote. You guys may want to have a seat for this.” The men shrugged but did as told. Pein moved to the center of the living room and cleared his throat, before reading from the letter. “Sasori wrote this. Now then:

Dear everyone; I hope your break’s going well. This is probably the last time you’ll hear from us until school starts again.

You see, about a month and a half ago, I asked Deidara if he’d do something for me over summer break. Much to my delight, he agreed to it, and our plans were set.”

“What was it?” Hidan interrupted.

“Shh!!”

“But,” Pein continued, “it soon became apparent that neither one of us could wait that long. So, our plans were shifted around, and preparations were made for spring break. It took a lot of paperwork and many sleepless nights, but we finally got all the legal work taken care of.”

“Legal work?”

“SHH!!!”

“So, immediately after school let out, we headed for the airport and got on a plane to beautiful Las Vegas.”

“WHAT?!”

“SHUT UP!!!”

“We only needed about an hour to buy Deidara’s outfit, and then we were set.” Pein took a deep breath. “Guys, by the time you read this…..Deidara and I………”

“Yes?” Hidan breathed, and no one bothered to shut him up.

“…………………..Will be married.”

You could have heard a pin drop. “Holy Jashin.”

“There’s more.” Pein cleared his throat again. “After this, we’re going to spend about a week in Paris. With any luck, it’ll be an enjoyable trip. I’ve enclosed a picture of Deidara and myself. And about the outfits; Deidara insisted on it, and I couldn’t say no.” Konan held up the photo, and everyone gathered around to see.

Sasori was standing there, wearing a tux with a smirk on his face. Deidara was standing next to him, smiling in his wedding gown. Sasori’s arm was wrapped protectively around the blonde’s waist, and although Sasori’s was partially hidden, you could see the wedding bands the couple now wore.

Kisame shook his head. “Damn. I knew it was going to happen, but I didn’t expect it so soon.”

“Why would they have run off without telling us?” Itachi wondered aloud.

“I can’t believe this!” Konan cried, fuming. “Grr, I should have tied them down and forced the wedding here! I swear I’ll be in charge of the next wedding if it kills me!”

The teens inched towards the door nervously. “That may have something to do with it,” Kakuzu whispered.

“Ya think?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~later that night~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kakuzu sighed and rubbed his temples. He’d been working on this paperwork for the past six hours, and desperately wanted to go to sleep. Unfortunately, he knew that if he left now, it would never get finished. Sighing, he bent forward and picked up his pencil again, returning to his figures.

Soft footsteps interrupted his concentration. “Are you ever coming to bed, asshole?”

“When I finish this, and not a moment before.” Hidan frowned but said nothing. Instead, he sat down in a nearby chair and stared at his partner. “You don’t have to stay up,” Kakuzu muttered, already turning back to his work.

“It’s too cold in there by myself, you damn miser,” Hidan muttered, folding his arms on the table and resting his head on them. In truth, he didn’t want to sleep without the banker near him, but the odds of him admitting that were about as likely as Kakuzu admitting he liked having Hidan near him as he worked.

Neither teen spoke, and the only sound in the room was the soft scratching of Kakuzu’s pencil against the paper. Hidan watched his partner intently, afraid that speaking would get him thrown out of the room. After what seemed like an eternity, the sound of writing finally ceased. “Can we go to bed now, dumbass?”

No answer.

“Hmm? Hey, dumbass, I asked you a question.” He poked his friend but received no response. Frowning, he stood and walked closer to Kakuzu. “Dumbass…” he bent down, and a grin broke out on his face.

Kakuzu was asleep.

Shaking his head, he walked out of the room and into the bedroom, only to return a moment later with the blanket from their bed. “Dammit, I’m gonna freeze my ass off now,” he muttered, draping the blanket around Kakuzu. He smiled and kissed the banker on the cheek. “Night, ‘Kuzu.” He shut off the light and stumbled to the bedroom.